You’ve unplugged from the normie world of “safe investments” and stepped into the beautifully chaotic simulation of crypto. Here, JPEGs sell for millions, dog coins outperform Fortune 500 companies, and some random dude on Twitter named “CryptoChad69” probably has better financial advice than your bank. Regulations? We don’t know her. Money isn’t real, the charts are just vibes, and if you’re not in, you’re already late. Welcome to the madness. Try not to get rekt.